Don’t adjust your screen, there’s nothing wrong.

I thought that I’d pipe up a little bit regarding the whole “Anti-feminist” movement thing, but I am not entirely sure where to begin… bear with me (I usually say this when I’m not entirely sure what I’m about to write). I’m going to try and make a few points.

Let me start out by giving my “credentials” so to speak. I am an anti-feminist. Or, a better term is perhaps “egalitarian” as anti-feminist has sharper connotations which often place me into a group mold that I also don’t really fit into.

I always find it amazing that when an ideology that claims to support women and is so prevalent clashes with a woman of opposing views, they immediately take one of a few stances. They either A, tear her down entirely (I’ve had that happen to me more than a handful of times.)

The first time that this happened to me was perhaps the first time that I seriously began to question feminism as a movement and what it was about. This was about ten years ago now (maybe a little less). Originally, although I wasn’t familiar with the over-all ideology of feminism, I figured that I probably fit into that category. I was a woman, I was a “feminist”.

However, when I began sharing some of my personal thoughts and feelings regarding genders in an open chat forum with other females (NOT on a feminist or gender topic site btw, the topic sort of just came up) I was immediately railroaded by fifteen-twenty women who all tore me down for some of my beliefs. They spouted things like, “LKJSlain likes to be ruled by a dictator,” and laughed at me. This hurt. I’m not going to lie. My husband is the opposite of controlling (PROBABLY because he had / has a feminist mother.)

After this experience, I began immersing myself with this whole “feminist movement” thing. I started doing a little research here and there, but never really delved deeply into it because on the outside, the movement seemed to share some of the ideas that I thought to be true. “Rape is bad,” “Women should have equal rights,” etc etc. I believe all of these things (to some extent).

However, it wasn’t until a few years ago (we’ll say five-ish) that I started doing some serious digging at the prompting of some of the other anti-feminists, egalitarians, MRA’s etc that I knew online.

Admittedly, some of what I found shocked me, but the more that I fact checked, the more that I realized that not only was I not a feminist I was the opposite. Yes, I was indeed an anti-feminist or egalitarian.

This movement is gaining more and more ground, and this movement and some of what I’ve seen is what I really want to talk about here today.

What I’ve seen by and large from the feminist movement is the sort of “head petting” condescension that comes from a person who believes that the person who doesn’t believe like THEM has no idea what they’re talking about. Just the other day, someone told me, “You’re INTELLIGENT, Lisaloo,” – something that (unless only given as a compliment) really means, “You’re smart, so why are you dumb, here?”

Some feminists are so enraged that this movement exists at all that they write articles, flame other women, have even gone as far as getting some women in trouble with the law, police, etc to “shut them up”.

I keep seeing articles where feminists try (repeatedly) to EXPLAIN to these “poor un-educated souls” what feminism “REALLY” is, and then (in the most condescending way possible) tell them, “Don’t worry, we’re WOMEN, so we STILL have your back winky winky blinky blink blink…”

Let me sort of lay out on the line SOME of the things that I believe personally in response to some of this non-sense.

Firstly, I know what feminism is / claims to be / and what it is not. Doing research for over ten years has given me a pretty broad scope of exactly what it is, and how some of them are nutso and some of them are not, etc etc.

But, that’s not why I’m a feminist (as often, I am told that the reason that I must not be a feminist is because I have met all the radicals). I’m not a feminist because the feminist believes certain things that after having done my research, I simply do not.

FIRSTLY- I do not believe in the Patriarchy. At least, not in the way that feminists view it.

IS the world mostly run by men? Yes. WAS there a plan to make it happen that way and oppress women? No one can ever convince me that this was the case. Yes, you could throw out a few quotes from some idiot minded men, or fancy politicians, but overall? No.

I believe that men have often been in charge because they have wanted to protect their wives/ women.

I do not consider this country to have oppressed women at all. When Miley Cyrus can get on stage and rub her chicken butt all over Robin Thicke and waggle her tongue and Lady GAGA can walk by in little more than pasties, I don’t consider that oppression.

ARE some women oppressed? Yes. But, some men are too and if that’s not something that you’ve learned about, I suggest that you go and start doing some research because more than likely you’re learning from a feminist/biased teacher.

I believe that if anything, history has shown us that men have lived, and died for their women, families, and more. This has been shown regarding wars, natural disasters, etc. Whenever catastrophe strikes, what does everyone say “Women and children first!” … to me what this says is that a feminist really doesn’t want “equality” with a man. Unless she wishes to stay behind and die for her husband willingly.

When “votes for women” was spreading across the nations, men were busy DYING in wars, screaming and calling out for their mother’s and wives because they were in excruciating pain where back home, they were told (by their wives) that if they didn’t go and fight they were cowards worthy to be shunned. (We see this even in television today. Look at Once Upon a Time… Rumple’s wife “left him” because he didn’t want to go die.)

Feminists don’t want to recognize this. They are merely concerned with “me me me.” They consider it oppression that while men had to go and stand all day in courts, or work fields, or mines, or build plantations that they were left at home in the plush environment of cushy living to care for their children (and many often had a nanny)

Regarding “votes” and “politics” in those days btw, you couldn’t vote unless you owned land. This means that there were actually MANY men who didn’t vote and SOME WOMEN who did! (Something else that if you are not aware of, your teacher was biased). Men considered politics are hard and dirty business and didn’t want to burden their already troubled wives with it. It wasn’t because they didn’t want women to make any decisions.

SECONDLY- I do NOT believe that men are more prone to violence, etc and that women are angels.

I AM a woman and I can tell you right here and now that women can be MORE crafty, cruel, evil, and violent than men. Women PLOT, women hold grudges, women never get over things, women rage, and some women kill, beat, rape, and murder.

The absolute worst fights, misunderstandings, and refusing to let anything go that I’ve ever experienced were with women. Not men.

To paint men as these violent from birth rapists is senile.

Someone recently told me that “only 1percent of women are rapists”… I find this a little hard to believe because I’m subscribed to sites which are not biased and show these things outright. I see almost every day news stories of another woman teacher or authority figure having sex with a minor, and yes, I see violent rape instances as well.

The problem is (and I believe that this is BECAUSE of the feminist movement)- other women, the press, and the rest of the world label women like this as “disturbed” or “they did it because they have mental issues” instead of doing what they do when a man does the same thing. Call them a rapist.

This sort of brings me to my final point…

LASTLY- I believe that women have too many rights.

Feminists want us to believe (blindly) that women are oppressed and they get the lesser treatment, etc.

This is simply not the case and I could go on and on regarding examples of why this is not the case for paragraphs but, I’ll name a few here.

Women get a lesser prison/ jail sentence for committing the same crime as a man does.

Women get things for free just because they are women.

Women do not have the social responsibility of needing to “provide” for a family (so long as they’re married).

Women are the ones who most often receive the benefits of the divorce. INCLUDING the money, the children, etc. And it has been shown that this is even in cases in which the father would make a far better parent.

WOMEN can have an abortion without even consulting the man who impregnated her (isn’t he the father? Shouldn’t he have a say? Wouldn’t that be “equal rights” ?)

Women can make sexy music videos and strut around half (or mostly) nude and it’s “empowering” …

I’ll end this whole thing with a few more thoughts…

Firstly, the wage gap is far more complicated than most feminists make it out to be. On the whole, women actually ARE paid the same amount as men are but this is if they are doing the exact same job. (EXACT same)…

In truth, many women don’t wish to do the same job as a man because a man’s job requires more stamina, stress, etc.

In studies, it’s been proven that women will not work in uncomfortable positions where men will.

Men are more likely to take jobs where the death rate is higher, women are not.

Women actually COST companies to work because many of them will (at some point) take maternity leave.

And there are several other factors. The “wage gap” has been proven to be a myth repeatedly for the last decade and yet women and feminists refuse to acknowledge this. Studies that say otherwise do not take into consideration the ridiculous number of factors that it takes to come up with this stuff.

Secondly- “rape culture”…

What even is that?

When I looked up the definition and did some further digging into it, it seemed to me that what it really is is “paranoia culture” …

If we lived in a rape culture, more than half of us would consider “rape” okay. Most of us don’t, right?

In fact, rape is one of the only crimes committed in which people are OFFENDED if it’s questioned. Because, why would a woman lie about that? Well, I can tell you right now that (again) having done non-biased research there are literally hundreds of women who lie about being raped.

And in all fairness, it (like every other crime) has to be proven. You can not simply point the finger, cry rape and then have someone get incarcerated (where they’ll get raped btw). Which is another point. Men actually get raped more in this country because of prisons.

Someone recently said to me, “YEAH BY OTHER MEN!” But, understand… while this might be true, it is still neglecting the fact that women rape children and men all the time and are (instead of being called rapists) petted on the hand because they are “troubled” … if you ask me if there’s a “rape culture” that exists, it’s within the feminist movement.

Last thought-

The reason that I’m not a feminist has nothing to do with being “un-educated” … It’s because I’m not a “overly sensitive @ss hat who needs constant reassurance of my woman hood and believes all of the lies that feminists tell” … and trust me. There are a lot.

Basically, the reason that I’m not a feminist is because I don’t believe half of what it believes or stands for. It’s NOT because I am “uneducated” or “simply don’t understand the definition of feminism” or “need a condescending pat pat on the head.”

I believe that there are good men, and bad men, and good women and evil women.

Overall however? I love men. Men have been the ones who have looked after me, protected me, fed me, paid for me, clothed me, etc… I think most men ARE the goodguys.

Unfortunately feminism puts a damper on the whole thing.

But probably the most troubling thing to me is this –

I’m not a feminist because I’ve decided not to be one based on fact checking, understanding, and research. Not because I’m stupid.

Please, feminists, stop acting like I am, and if you TRULY support me, then support me and shut up.

Advertisements

WHA WHA WHA, no one likes me anymore…

Uh oh, two posts in like 48 hours… What’s happening to me?!?!?

Look…

I’m a crafter. I make and sell handmade jewelry https://www.etsy.com/people/Lisaslittleluxuries?ref=si_pr

So, I understand some of the up’s and downs that comes with business and how it works and how difficult it is and how hard criticism can be and so on.

But, let me give you a little tippy whippy (being obnoxious on purpose)

IF you are the kind of crafter who has created your own item that is (oooooooooooooh let’s say) a cute little stuffed kitty bear or something. Like, an entire line of them and you’re selling them for 50-100$ a piece and people are CONSTANTLY buying them from you, then you COMPLETELY change your design, don’t be shocked, surprised and lose your pee because someone doesn’t like your new work.

About a year ago now, I ran into a person who had the most adorable plush animals on the planet (her own design). My hope and prayer was to save up the money to purchase one of these little critters because honestly? They just made me happy. In hind sight, buying one was probably a silly and irresponsible thing to do so maybe I’m glad that I didn’t do it, but in any case, I admired them and dreamed of one day owning one.

Her ways of doing things were confusing at best. She announced that her new line of kitty bears was “here” (link provided) and that you could by the extras in the pictures too (there were no extras in these photos) and upon questioning her about this she didn’t answer me.

Now, because these things were so gosh darn adorable, for QUITE some time now she’d SOLD like a ton of them. This was her work… Then not two minutes after I find her online she says that she’s ill and can no longer make these adorable items… (Dreams crushed…) I put up with the whole thing having compassion and sympathy for her and her situation (which she was never terribly clear about) and held on hoping to get one of her adorable kitty bears someday.

Well, about six months later (Who knows why) she suddenly was able to “make them” again. HURRAY! Maybe I can buy one someday again. In fact, she has a contest and has everyone favorite her on facebook. Whoever got the most people to like her shop got a free kitty bear. I was so excited. So, I played along…

Only to discover that about two months later, she announces that she’s changing the pattern again. … fine… let’s see it… O_O GADDZUKS WHAT THE TURD IS THAT THING!?!?!

These once adorable kitty bear things now looked nothing short of “overly made/ flashy” and totally “alienic” (A – lee – on – ic) … they were just ODD… I admit that after looking at them for weeks now, they’re not QUITE so odd, but they’re certainly not something that I would spend money on.

This wasn’t as upsetting as the fact that I stated my opinion and said that I liked the other design better. I also stated that I felt these ones look more like aliens than the others. Someone argued with me, and I quickly stated that I didn’t agree and left it at that.

Not two days later, she released a journal update whining and stating, “Don’t tell me that you don’t like the new designs… that stays with me all day long…” I was a bit miffed by this.

WHy!? I’mma tell you WHY…

BECAUSE YOU MADE A WHOLE LINE OF SOMETHING THAT AN ENTIRE CUSTOMER BASE LOVED AND THEN DECIDED TO COMPLETELY REDO IT!

There was nothing wrong with it from the start! They were adorable!

I understand, I get it… it’s her creation and she can do whatever she wants with it. But, if you’re GOING to change something that was already so beloved, don’t expect that some people will not like it. The entire reason that you had a customer base to begin with is because they wanted WHAT YOU HAD…unchanged… as is… It’s like when you get used to eating at your favorite restaurant eating a specific meal and then return one day to realize (when you order it) that the recipe is entirely changed and it is no longer good.

It made me upset that she was “upset” by someone stating that they didn’t like the new design compared to the old one. I’m sure I’m overreacting but I think the point still remains…

IF you’re going to make something with a fan base don’t completely overhaul it and expect all of your fans to still love you… maybe offer both? I don’t know what the answer is…

OH yeah… and if that wasn’t enough… the girl like… up and disappeared again. She’s back AGAIN… I don’t know. Problems.

You Must Be so Proud. No… no, I’m not.

Forgive me while I go on a little journey with my thoughts here. No doubt this’ll be a little confusing but bear with me.

Interesting isn’t it…

It seems like now days we live in a world where everyone feels worthless or depressed unless there is constant praise flung in their direction. It seems that if we’re not gumming up some social media site with “selfies” or constant status updates telling everyone how “great” we are we all lose our minds.

I’ve lived pretty much in a sheltered bubble most of my life. One that’s been quite devoid of close friends and social interactions. And while my parents are “great” in many ways, they have NOT always been the best at giving me encouragement, attention, or praise. In fact, very often I get the opposite from my family and QUITE often, things that happened to me (even things that they had a major hand in) are somehow “my” fault… “This happened to me, and you let it happened and it destroyed me…”
“Well, it’s your fault for thinking about it again…” >_>

But, I’m getting off track a bit.

Point there being, I have never really received much praise.

When I wrote my first novel (Shatter) and my mother read it in a night’s time and brought it back to me crying that she “couldn’t believe that I could write so well”- I must admit that no one was more shocked at her response than me. I had never seen my mother praise me over much of anything… and to be honest, I haven’t really seen her do so again.

My mother has been harping on me to do exercise for over twenty years, and now when I am and I started showing her today some of the things that I was doing (what I can do at this early stage) she glossed right over it with a “ever try this…?” >_>

I think that because of the fact that both my emotional state, and my accomplishments have always been rather “passed over” I have learned a pretty tough lesson in this life. It’s something that I’ve told a few people and have realized recently how true it is… “No matter what I do in this world, I have realized that I am completely alone.”

Even my husband who is close and supportive has aspergers and can not fully support me and encourage me OR understand my emotional state.

Because of this… I think that I’ve developed a mindset in which I take absolutely no pride in myself. This can be good… and at the same time, I can see the downside as well.

I am learning slowly to care for myself again, and I love myself, yes. (So that no one reading misunderstands), but the word “proud” has always made me cringe inside. In fact, there have literally been moments where I have despised it.

I would have to say that I’m bittered to the idea of “pride” and perhaps it is because I have often been made to feel as if I have nothing to be proud for.

The thing is, I know that this will never ever change and quite frankly, I don’t want it to.

earlier today I received a message from a sweet friend who’s only intention was to tell me that she was “proud of my exercise attempts recently” … and I immediately replied with, “I’m not, but thank you.” She replied, “Oh, I thought that you were.” I mindlessly wrote back, “No, I don’t take much pride in anything that I do.”

And I’d rather keep it that way. I know that sounds odd and maybe people don’t understand. I don’t quite know how to explain it myself. But as long as I’m not proud, I can remain in a place of awe, wonder, childlike need, and reliance on God.

When someone tells me that they’re proud of me, however. My blood starts to boil and inwardly I start screaming. “NO! Don’t tell me you’re PROUD. I don’t want to hear it! Save it!”

I think deep down I’m really just angry at my parents for not having shown me more praise… but, now that I’m here (as an adult) I don’t want to hear it from anyone else.

If I accomplish something I want to love myself for it, but remember that it was Christ who got me there. I don’t want to be “proud” …

Random thought of the day

*opens mouth… closes again… thinks… decides to re-open mouth*

If you’re a feminist… and you’re all super concerned about being owned by a man because of your last name so you keep your maiden name… then I’m a little confused.

I’m confused because your last name is a man’s name regardless of which way you go.
It’s either your dad’s or your grandfather’s depending on who you were raised by…

Frankly… if this even IMPLIED that you were owned by a man (which I don’t believe it does in the slightest. I believe it’s a way of saying “togetherness”), then I’d rather be “owned” by my lover/husband than my dad… >_>