I’m a complex person. I have a high emotional state, and I tend to be off the wall/ silly/ and bizarre. However, being a writer by trade and a deeply creative person, I also tend to have moments where I am very quiet and introspective. Then I will randomly burst and cover a vast majority of topics with silly word vomit. I do this in real life too. Just ask my sister.
About four days ago now, she and I were in a Michaels and I was mostly silent and introspective until we began talking about something hilarious. Then I announced that her and I should write a musical and in a Texan twang began to act out dying and singing at the same time. She lost it, I lost it, we were on the ground laughing and then back up and before long I went into silent creative mode again.
I say a LOT of things that don’t seem to make me a “cohesive” person… (Although, considering that I’m not a garment on project runway, I’m not sure that this should matter)…
I know for a fact that I confuse the hell out of a lot of people who know me. Both personally AND on the net.
If you’ve known me for longer than a minute, that much is probably pretty evident. That if someone was going to use a word to describe me… SOME would probably choose that exact word… “Confusing”… others might choose words like “enigmatic” or “mysterious” but what it really boils down to is “I don’t understand that… or Lisa…”
But, there was a situation recently involving me that got out of control.
Now, the REASONS that it got out of control unfortunately elude that people who were… well, responsible for it getting out of control, but let’s move beyond that.
It ended with me doing something that I haven’t done in many years. I unfriended like 4 or 5 people. GASP… At first, this might have seemed like a purely emotional RAGE QUIT so to speak. I was “upset” so, I just deleted a whole list of people who were probably just “being cute” on the internet.
In all reality, the decision was long coming. The truth is that the people that I unfriended are extremely hypocritical individuals, and what’s funny is that I have had lots of others tell me (behind their backs) that in reality, they really don’t like those people. They’re probably just friends with them because “everyone else” is… etc.
With some of them, I had tried to be extremely friendly in the past and attempted to let them know that there was no ill feelings, however, they became snarky, snippy or aggressive with me, and then became even MORE inflamed when I stood up for myself (And btw, when I stand up for myself, I do so with words that are usually kind and just forward/blunt).
And this is where the hypocrisy comes in.
I have stood up for SEVERAL of these people when their “bad day” meant that others were flaming THEM… Some of them for some pretty controversial topics.
This event (Them all flaming me, and then becoming even MORE enraged and cruel when I simply asked why I was being treated a certain way and covering Facebook with mockeries of me), made me realize these people’s REAL problem.
They only care about themselves.
You see, to some degree EVERYONE cares about themselves only. I get that. We ARE ourselves. So, we understand how much pain, torment, etc we experience and no one else TRULY can. All that WE can do is have compassion for another person.
On several occasions, I have stood up for another person (people in this group) not because I “agreed” with them, but because I have compassion for them. I understand that even if “I” don’t think that their feelings should matter, they do. And that’s what matters. No one gets to tell you that your feelings don’t matter, or that they’re irrelevant because they are ALWAYS relevant to you.
In some cases I’ve watched some of these people piss and moan about the stupidest sh*t on the planet and everyone come alongside them and pet their delicate egos until they were fatter than a cow ready for slaughter. But, the moment that myself or someone else stands up to one of their comments, they become someone who forgets that others actually have feelings that are ALSO valid to them.
Again, this was long coming.
The problem here was that far too many of these people have barfed all over the internet repeatedly how “against bullying” they are and how “people should have FEEEEEEEELINGGGGGGGS” for others… and then proceeded to go after me after one of the quite possibly stupidest entanglements on the planet. (I wrote a long comment on someone’s status on facebook that was meant to be silly/ funny… they got all bent out of shape over it and then told me that I was being “sensitive” for questioning their responses to me…) Then of course, they proceeded to post stupid things about me for several minutes on different statuses thus giving me a reason to be “sensitive”… >_>
I think what I took of this is that ACTUALLY, they just don’t like me, and think they can beat me up emotionally and expect me to just “take it” because that’s what THEY’D do… right?… wrong… I’ve watched these people bitch and moan about ridiculous stuff before.
One of them even angrily brought up my religion (or something religious they thought that I’d say to them) literally out of no where. (Which, made me think that the REAL problem here was my religion… because uh…. we weren’t talking about it.)
THEN (of course) a few of them followed up by posting repeated tweets directed at me, etc…
One of them saying that (and I am only assuming this is me because of the timeline of everything) I want to be “treated better” but then proceeded to post six status updates on facebook about how “mean” humanity is…
Totally untrue. I never asked to be treated better by humanity. I asked why SPECIFIC people were treating me a SPECIFIC way… See how that works? And secondly, my posts on facebook were directed at SPECIFIC people. Those who (as several others have told me personally) are really just bullies who never actually came out of highschool.
Anyone with thinking capacity could see that in their next several minutes of making fun of my feelings all over the net. XD Grown ups don’t do that… children do.
In situations such as this, I would have to say that the REAL problem is that they just don’t know me. The BIGGER problem is that in all reality, they never cared to. ^_^
This is why you can so easily throw me (and others) away, or under the bus and act like it’s “no big deal”…
So, here’s the deal.
#1… if you are anti-bully, then be anti-bully. You don’t have to step in front of a bus and defend someone because everyone else is mocking them/ making fun of them, “having harmless fun at their expense” … but don’t “join in” and then whine the next day about how people are so meannnnnnnnnn because they bullied some poor kid in Oklahoma because of the book he was carrying. 😛 That’s not “anti bully” that’s “I only care about things that are important to me, and in all other cases, I have no compassion”
#2… People CAN get their feelings hurt on the internet. In fact, I have literally seen some of these people POST “boo hoo” posts about others who have committed suicide or what not due to the fact that people bullied them on the internet. Some people are overly sensitive… I would say that if someone that you’ve known less than a few weeks hurts your feelings, get over it. The problem here was that I have known several of these people for SEVERAL years… (like 5-8 in most of their cases)… and yes, the more you know someone, the more their slander/ mockery, etc hurts.
#3… Don’t feel like you have to be friends with the “in crowd” just because they’re “in…” If they don’t benefit you at all, and you can see that they’re hypocritical literal anus’s wipe your hands clean of them. 🙂 That simple.
P.S. Regardless of what these individuals actually think. I WILL harbor no ill feelings towards them. I honestly hope that they do well in life. ^_^ I even told one of them as much before unfriending them.