Men’s issues need to be violently thrust back onto them before the Christian church implodes

The new topic of today…


I am going to state immediately, that I am not coming down on the woman who chose NOT to wear leggings. If she TRULY felt that that was what the Lord wanted her to do, then good. Obedience is key to our Lord Jesus, so if you ever read this, dear, please don’t think that I’m beating you up.

What I’m beating up is the idea that dressing more modestly will “help the men in the church”…

In this day and age, the men in church have a much BIGGER issue than whether or not a woman is showing a little too much. That issue has to do with the fact that ESPECIALLY IN AMERICA (porn capital of the world) Men have TRAINED themselves to think of women “sexually” and hence no amount of “cover” can “cover” the man’s heart and mind.

We see it acceptable as the family unit to go out into the world where everyone is dressed inappropriately but we can’t do it ourselves, but even WORSE, no one balks at the movies, the entertainment, etc in which sex is just repeatedly THROWN at their husbands, (thus TRAINING them to think certain ways) etc… but… leggings…

Please, I BEG YOU.. do not read this whole thing and then try and tell me that it’s the “woman’s job as much as the man’s” etc etc… because I’m pretty sure if you ACTUALLY read this, you’ll see that I’m covering that particular topic with the idea that there IS appropriate dress for people in different situations and that I’M NOT TELLING PEOPLE TO WALK AROUND WITH THEIR UNDERWEAR EXPOSED — massive disclaimer that no one will actually listen to. ALSO before you start throwing things out there like “Don’t eat meat around those who don’t eat meat” and “don’t cause your brother to stumble” etc etc… Those verses really have no bearing on what we’re talking about because the women are often COMPLETELY unaware because of two reasons – the “norm” of the state, country, whatever about what is considered modest and the fact that they are probably NOT doing it to make you stumble, and secondly because again, the issue is in your own CHEST so, again, take it upon YOURSELF, as Job did.

I commented this on a friend on facebook’s status when he posted regarding “the woman who chose not to wear leggings” and I commented it on Matt Walsh’s post on facebook as well…


I get so tired of this whole thing in “American Christianity”…

THE PROBLEM is not with “yoga pants” or “revealing clothing” – it’s with men’s hearts. The MAN is responsible for the MAN’S thoughts.

Do I think that women should walk around naked? No… but, the moment that we start saying, “Oh, it’s what she’s WEARING” the deeper the hole we dig becomes because we can never know what TRULY sets a man off from man to man.

For some men it’s butts, for some it’s cleavage, for some it’s SHOULDERS FOR HEAVEN’S SAKES!

American Christianity has taught men that they are “slaves” to their “eyes” and lustful thoughts and that the way to handle it is to just “look away” (funny, I had this very conversation with a group of young men in the church last night)… If you are always just “lookin away”, then you are not dealing with the real problem. you are only AVOIDING it until something else sets you off, which inevitably it WILL because (again) the problem is not in yoga pants, mini skirts, or YOUR EYES, but in your HEARTS.

Yes, I think there is appropriate dress for work, church, beach, play, etc… but, guess what? That appropriate level is DIFFERENT for EVERYONE, and it’s not going away because our idea of appropriate comes from many different places. How our mother’s dressed, what’s been taught to us, our CULTURE, our home country, or state, how our BODY is shaped for goodness sakes, and even health issues that we have.

You can’t “cover women up” and claim that that gets rid of the problem. Because the problem will ALWAYS be in your chest. There are MANY young men who go to different countries and witness to tribes of half naked women… how do they DO IT?! They change their heart about who and WHAT a person is… a person.

We have to do the same thing in America and men’s issues need to be violently THRUST back into the category of that, “Men’s issues”… not “she was wearing yoga pants so I accidentally decided to think about banging her.”

It creates SO MUCH of a problem… turning women into seducers when they might have just wanted to be comfortable, turning men into animals who can’t control their thoughts so they have to walk with their heads down, etc etc the list just grows and grows.

Here’s the REAL problem… OTHER WOMEN are not going to stop wearing yoga pants in public… so, as a wife, the answer is to start dressing like a nun so my husband will DEFINITELY not be looking at ME, and DEFINITELY be looking at yoga pants wearer over there? Uh… no.

I will dress the way that I want to dress to show off for my husband and life mate and if someone else “Accidentally” thinks about “raping me” or “accidentally thinks” about “what I look like nude” that’s THEIR problem.

I don’t dress that immodestly anyways and what I have learned is that because of my body shape men look at me no matter WHAT I’m wearing.

One of my DEAREST friends can NOT keep his eyes off of me even without the plunging neckline… so, sorry, if he’s going to look regardless (because the problem is in his HEART) then I’m going to wear what I want to wear. Not to spite him, not to say, “yes, please look more” but because there’s no difference for him- he’s the one with the issue, and unfortunately, I’m used to it.

I’ve written this out repeatedly before for men and instantly people think that I’m saying that it’s okay for a woman to walk around with her thong exposed. NOT WHAT I’M SAYING!

I’m saying that the legalism is impossible. “Your chest makes me sin, so cover it up, your thighs make me sin so cover THEM up, your legs make me sin, so cover THOSE up… your ankles make me sin, so cover them up!… here, here’s a burqa… btw, it’s all your fault, you’re just too beautiful not to lust after… *buzzer noise*” No thanks.

Avoiding the issue is never going to get us away from the issue, what it’s going to do is keep us from intimacy in the kingdom of God.

Oh, and before men start claiming (as someone else I said all of this to says) that men have “repeated unwanted thoughts” … wrong. That is NOT an argument nor does it work in the Christian walk.

If you are free in Christ, then you don’t have repeated “unwanted” anything.

You need to man up and realize that actually, yes… you do WANT those thoughts, and that’s why you have them.

Coming from someone who has counseled men in sexual addiction before(yes, I have), I can tell you that men are not born slobbering sex crazed loons, they DO IT TO THEMSELVES… by falling into this culture and societies lies about sex, sexualization of women, etc. I’ve spoken with many men who are NOT sex addicts as well and it turns out that they have guarded their hearts, protected their minds, their eyes, etc… They are not “plagued” by “unwanted persistent thoughts”… meaning that Yo, men… you have done it to yourself, and you need to get help for it.


PS… Notice what Christ had to say about the topic- “If a man LOOKS at a woman to lust after her he’s committed adultery in his heart…”

What that verse does NOT say is, “If a WOMAN flaunts herself in front of you and causes you to think unholy thoughts, then tell her to cover up more.”


3 thoughts on “Men’s issues need to be violently thrust back onto them before the Christian church implodes

  1. I agree that modesty teachings are inherently flawed. The question is how do we change the message from ‘women: cover up’ to ‘men: control yourselves’? It seems that many leaders prefer to send the first message and avoid the second.

    • I DO think that it goes both ways… Women need to not walk around half dressed, and men need to re-train their minds.

      Honestly, the work of the enemy is so ingrained in THIS society that I’m not sure HOW it can be turned around. What I DO know however is that churches are not doing anything about it… NOR are they teaching young men what sexual purity is and how it works with THEM.

      We need to raise our sons in a way that we are not continually putting them in front of movies where women end up on display (no, I’m not talking about removing Marvel films, etc) I’m talking about the films where the girls end up topless for no reason other than eye candy, and love scenes are hot and steamy and people get naked.

      We need to teach young men (AND women) that people are PEOPLE and need to be looked at as such. We need to teach them NOT to gawk at women who choose to dress certain ways and to always have manners and kindness to all.

      We need to NOT buy our 14 year old boys laptops and then let them go to their rooms, close the door and connect to the internet. IF they choose to do that when they’re older, then fine, but the more that we allow them to have that kind of “personal time” the more we’re asking for things to go poorly.

      We live in a society in which the young men have been brain washed into believing that nudity = sex and that sex is for THEIR pleasure, purpose, and fantasies. This should not be… *SMH*

    • Because most of them are involved in the lust.

      That’s the real problem. No one wants to “address” what’s wrong with them, they want everyone to do whatever it takes to make THEM more comfortable. Look at how the world is these days? Everyone offended right and left, and no one saying, “Hey, why don’t you try NOT being offended” (Note, I did not say hurt, that’s different)… instead, we’re all being forced to shut our mouths…
      People need to learn how to take responsibility for their actions because unfortunately for men, even if all women in church wore a BURQA, women OUTSIDE of church would still dress VERY provocatively… now what?

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