I Hate to Say it, but I’m ELATED to be leaving my other facebook behind.

It’s been sort of an odd thing…

Figuring out who I’m going to “take with me” and perhaps who was just there for fun sometimes (a LOT of you)… and then discovering who the real BUTTS in this group from “xanga” were/ are…

I find it amazing how you can say to a group of people that you’re leaving and they all respond differently.

I remember being in fifth grade. This was the grade that I was in where teachers actually abused me, and I was attacked (physically) three different times by boys who were bigger and stronger than me. TWICE without provocation, and once towards the end when I’d had enough and actually started the fight/ fought back. Funnily enough, I got in trouble for that last one but no one did for the other two attacks… That was the end for me…

I remember that I went to school for the last few days to say goodbye, hoping that a few people actually cared about me and the responses that I was met with were shocking to my 10 year old sensibilities… Overwhelmingly, the kids/ people acted as if they were GLAD that I was leaving…

I was 10… I was bullied… I never “talked back”, I never bullied anyone. I tried the best that I could to be nice to everyone (I had friends in special Ed), I made my best friend by helping her when she was bleeding when no one else would… and everyone was “GLAD” that I was leaving? erm… okay…

The truth of the matter is that these reactions that I’m getting on Facebook? They’re THE REASONS that I’m leaving… there are some people who have been a constant and have always been my friend and always been there, but others have just been downright mean and I think it’s bizarre when they come out of the woodworks to slap you right before you do so…

Okay, if you REALLY felt that way, then why are you my FB friend to BEGIN with? I never had a habit of “adding people as friends” that I hated/didn’t like or was just going to use the ambiguity of the internet to be a DICK to… >_>

I think that sort of thing says a LOT about a person and what they’re “holding back”… in regards to how they really feel.

It’s like how back in October, everyone blew up at me for things that were ridiculous and boy did they UNLEASH all of their hatred against me from the get go… that was the beginning of the end for me.

I spoke with some people and they reminded me that while I HAVE been aggressive occasionally on facebook, I’ve done my best to never be cruel to people. If I’d slipped and done so, often I’ve apologized for it. I rarely ever cut someone “free” from my friendship (especially not over disagreements, etc) unless I felt that they were a danger to me, or my friends or they hurt one of them or myself without apology or care.

I was reminded that I did my best to always listen to everyone who wanted an ear, to be open minded and non-judgmental… that I had sat awake with a few people into the whee hours of the morning to keep them from pulling a trigger, that I’d sent Christmas and Easter cards to those who wanted them, that I’d given away jewelry to people, that I’d attempted to always stay true to the idea of friendship and love…

And there were those who forgot ALL of that and pissed on my head in the end literally for no reason other than (apparently) they have /had some beef with me that they never voiced or spoke of… and unfortunately, many of SAID people are the shock same people who have hordes of “followers” but very few FRIENDS because often they’re very cruel to people and can’t let minor grievances go… they think they’re “entitled” to be treated a certain way but have never really treated ANYONE that way… and if they SAY they do, they’re kidding themselves and have a higher opinion of themselves than they should… because on several occasions I’ve witnessed some of those “xanga stars” be cruel to other people just for having a differing opinion, or trying to stand up for themselves or… (at times) doing absolutely nothing at all except existing… how sad when those people are making their fame and fortune by plastering on “hippy dippy happy slappy” smiles and purring left and right at anyone who says they’re “perf” but in reality could really give two craps about them…

I ALWAYS tried to care for everyone regardless of how “PERF” everyone thought that I was and regardless of their status in life…

It’s a tragic world I think…

I’ve seen this bull crap since I was a small child… sadly, many of those people are unhappy and unfulfilled and have never had a long term meaningful relationship. They have a “bestie” for a few years, then another, then another, then another, then another, then they “marry” someone, then they divorce, then they “date” someone, then they move on, then they get married again, and are unhappy still… and the cycle goes on without them once understanding that the common denominator in all of their problems is “them”…

I have come to realize that for the majority of my facebook life, most people have been fine. ^_^ I can put up with a lot of crap… but some people have REALLY hurt me and for reasons that were just ridiculously petty.

It’s not worth it anymore. I’m with an amazing group of people that I’ve been with for a long time now IRL. I love them dearly, they love me dearly, and we’re constantly working things out as a family. My church is great and I just don’t need extra facebook BULL right now.

So, all in all? I’m really glad to be moving on.

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Run from your sin! And it will certainly, absolutely never ever ever follow you at all.

I had come to the end of my rope…

“I just can’t do this anymore,” I said sheepishly looking at my husband.

I had just reiterated (for the fiftieth time) my current struggles in life coupled with my feelings of inadequacy, and the proverbial “banging your head against your wall” that happens to us all when a Christian begins to experience sin and temptation in all it’s resplendent false glory.

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My husband listened, nodded, sighed heavily a few times and lifted his head to look at me. “I don’t know what to do,” I said.

He shrugged. “Nothing.” He replied as if reading off of an item on my grocery list.

Wait a second… I just told you that I was struggling with temptation, and that I felt that I was drowning and your response to me was that I should do nothing?

“Nothing,” he replied again. “You need to keep putting yourself in it’s face.”

If your head didn’t just explode, stay with me.

How often in our Christian walk have we heard, “Run away from your sin…” ?

A few years ago now, I was struggling with an issue, and I sat down to talk with another woman about it. She shook her head and said, “You need to run… you need to run away from that right now.”

Now, please don’t get me wrong, I believe that there absolutely is a time and a place for running. If you feel yourself giving in to REAL temptation, then run. Run right then.

But, for some of us… those temptations are not as easy as “put down the bottle and walk away” because they’re less …physical.

The truth of the matter is that running sounds like the logical choice…

But wait a minute. If we run from temptation, what happens the next time we encounter it? Oh sure, we might not run into meth in our every day life, so resisting it once might sound really easy because heck, who knows when the next time we’ll encounter it again will be. Maybe never. Run once, and you won’t even have to look at meth for twenty years maybe. That’s simple!

But, alcohol… that might be a bit harder to always run from…
Porn… Even harder…
What about just old fashioned unforgiveness? … hitting a nerve there…
What about gossip? Having something against your brother? YIKES!!!

I’m not sure that you can always “run” from those kinds o things… and quite frankly, I think that this is one of the reasons that we start to lose people in the church. They can’t “handle” their own sin and have been told to “run from it”…

Funny…

You know, I don’t think that the verse is “Run from your sin, and it will certainly, absolutely, never ever ever follow you at all…”

I’m pretty sure that ACTUALLY the verse is “RESIST the devil and he will flee…”

What what?!?!? SAY IT AGAIN! “RESIST SIN?! RESIST??? Not RUN FROM!!??”

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Funny, I never really thought about this verse until my husband told me to continue to put myself in front of my “issue.”

I stewed over it for days until God reminded me of that very verse, and continued to point it out to me.

I wasn’t supposed to “run” from this sin because firstly that’s not what the bible says to do, but secondly, my sin is an issue of my heart not outright action, and BECAUSE of this running from it will only mean that it’ll chase me. That’s the nature of sin. Sin is in the heart and if you run from it, it’s still there. It’ll make another object, person, image, or drug the focus in no time flat.

This might sound nutty but it hit me like a ton of bricks.

A few nights later, I glared at my husband, “Everyone’s theology is flawed…you’re the one who’s right…” I smiled. He nodded at me, “I know,” he replied with a small smile. Then we talked about that verse.

You know what’s interesting? Since that revelation, I’ve felt stronger in this.

The idea that I can RESIST and not “run” actually gives me hope, and strength. I can stand up against my own selfish and foolish desires… and maybe I can have Victory.

Happy Whine Whine Whine Complain-y Whaney Day.

Oh… yes,yes,yes…

It is that TIME OF YEAR…

The time of year where I tell everyone the same crap that I’ve told them FOR years. ^_^ If you don’t want to hear it, then please kindly exit stage left right now- *gestures to glowing sign*

Every year, inevitably, I see a someone, a group of someones or many someones complaining about a similar thing…
“I HATE VALENTINE’S DAY!”

What they’re really saying when you examine them more closely is, “I hate the fact that I don’t have someone that I can be immoral with…” or “I resent the fact that everyone has a significant other except myself…”

HO’ UP there people… tug on those reins.

Lemme splain’ a little sumpin’ sumpin’ to you… and before you go saying, “Well, you have a HUSBANDDDDD it’s DIFFERENTTTT” let me tell you that I have ALWAYS felt this way. I felt like it BEFORE I had someone. Yes, I did in fact spend a few Valentine’s days alone even though I dated a lot. Yes, I’ve been there.

The day of love, while marketed as a “lovers” holiday, is NOT (regardless of what you’ve been brainwashed to believe) about sex… it’s NOT about romantic love, either and the only way you’re going to be happy if you’re alone is to UNDERSTAND that.

Today is about rejoicing in LOVE… If there’s someone in your life that you love, then guess what?! You’re already MOST of the way there. A friend? A brother or sister? An aunt who bakes you wonderful pies? A group of church buddies? If you have people, you have love.

If you are single, and you KNOW someone who is single, then get together and have a good night out on the town. Or staying in and watching your favorite film. You don’t HAVE to make it about “romance”… dude, if you love action movies, go for it!

When Christ died on the cross, that was the ultimate “I love you” to all of the world. So, you have love regardless of who you share it with.

If you don’t believe in that… then I encourage you to look into it, but if you refuse, then please please please, share love in any way that you see beautiful with those that you love. And heck YES eat chocolate. ^_^…

I love my readers, I love my friends, and I love you…

Happy Valentine’s Day. ^_^ Now, go make some memories for LOVE…

Here’s a few beautiful cards for you to send- Or, pretend that I sent you one. ^_^ Enjoy!

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Yes, there will be immorality this weekend at the box office. But, it won’t be because of 50 Shades of Grey.

If I seriously have to see another “anti fifty shades of Grey” poster, I think I’m going to hurl chunks… of flaming, acidy monkies… with tomahawks…

It’s everywhere! It’s all that we can talk about! It’s … totally cray, okay? Everything from posters, to proTESTers, to jokes, to merch, to movie tickets going through the roof ALREADY… It’s about as close to hysteria without actually being…hysterical. 😉

The more Christian side of the universe is hurling chunks of flaming acidy monkies with tomahawks left and right. If you’ve been on facebook any time in the last three weeks you’ve been utterly ASSAILED with article after article after BLOODY ARTICLE about “how inappropriate” fifty shades of Grey is…and how “it brainwashes young women” and how it “doesn’t represent Christ” and how it’s “useless garbage,” and how Christian is “abusive” and on and on and on and on to the point where (if you’re anything like ME,) you might feel like your head is going to pop off at any moment now, grow legs and run down the street screaming “hellfire and damnation, we GETITALREADY!!!”

Look, I’m not here to defend ol’ fiddy…
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But, I WOULD like to step out of my box and state a few things that seem to be going RIGHT over everyone else’s heads.

The first thing is that many of these people who are posting these articles have never actually read the books. Sadly… I’ve read them. Or, at least some of them. As a writer, I tend to pick up something from every genre from time to time and at LEAST poke at it. Have I written erotica? Yes. Will you ever see it? No. Have I read some of it? Sure… So, why not take a glance at ol’ fiddy? I mean, come on, it’s one of the top sellers of like… all time or some crap like that…

So, as someone who’s read at least SOME of the material, I feel that I have a bit of a say in the whole thing…

IS Fifty abusive? Yes. To some degree, but it’s not NEARLY to the degree that everyone is making it out to be. (At least not in the first book)…

This is a book about two lost souls who decide that they want to do this thing TOGETHER… Key word being “TOGETHER”… they WANT to have a messed up relationship, and I am pretty much convinced that if she (Ana) at any point ever TRULY put Christian down, then he’d leave her alone. The problem is that she doesn’t want to. Not really. When he “stalks” her or shows up, or whatever, it’s pretty obvious that she WANTS his attention.

But, even if you haven’t heard the side of “Fifty Shades is abusive” – I’m sure that you’ve heard hundreds of other things. Bible verses, and scripture thrown at you left and right.
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My guess? The people who have chosen to be involved in it KNOW what it’s about, KNOW that it’s sinful and probably don’t care. I really don’t think that they’re going to change their minds because of some bible verses. They see the whole thing as fantasy, as fun, and as “heck why not” … would I go see something so totally explicit? No.

But, that’s the next point that I want to make…

At the end of last year sometime, my family, some friends of mine, and I went and saw “Fury” … What a movie. I left nearly shaking. I turned to someone at the end and said, “That was INCREDIBLE…” Because it was. Not in the “aweinspiring” sort of way that you might think… just mind blowing and mind NUMBINGLY incredible… In case you didn’t see it… Fury is Rated R… it’s rated R for language (extremely pervasive) and lots and lots and lots of bloody gore and killing. There’s some pre-marital sex in there too, but they didn’t show it, really.

Anyways… you might be seeing where I’m going with this… God calls murder and pre-marital sex a sin too, you know? And if we seriously sat down and thought about it… Isn’t like.. EVERY movie that we watch filled with that stuff?

Look, I’m not here to tell you stop watching movies, or to stop enjoying your favorite cinema. Maybe (like me) sometimes you just skip over certain parts or you just don’t watch them. Or maybe you haven’t been convicted of them yet… who knows?

The point that I’m trying to make is this…

Fifty Shades is nothing new. It REALLY isn’t. Cinema has ALWAYS been filled with pervasive sex, immorality, homosexuality, murder, gore, fantasy, hate, torture, bad relationships and so on…
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So why is it that we (as American Christians) have chosen to raise our flag against Fifty Shades of Grey?

Honestly… I think if we REALLY cared, we’d be boycotting a whole heck of a lot more than just ol’ fiddy. And it honestly is a little disturbing to me, and frightening and that I’m seeing SO MUCH backlash against ONE movie as if it’s going to be the end all film when we aren’t fighting pornography as hard, or films that depict rape as hard, or films that depict murder as hard… or how about just ol’ outright lying and cheating? It’s like we’ve gone MAD…

People… there are PLENTY of sexually explicit films out there… tons even… LOADS… MYRIADS even… How come I’m not seeing as much war mongering over Magic Mike XXL? Isn’t that ALSO a sexually explicit film ABOUT male strippers and broken relationships?

You know what? There WILL be immorality this weekend at the box office… but you know what? It won’t be because of fifty shades of grey. It’ll be because we AS A SOCIETY have not fought enough against every other little thing that has crept into our homes and televisions and cinemas. WE are the product ladies and gentlemen. Cinema KNOWS that we will go and see this garbage and how do they know? Because it’s ALREADY IN EVERY SINGLE OTHER FILM THAT THEY’RE RELEASING!!!

I always shake my head when my feed starts getting blown up with things against one thing and yet I have not seen the same people fight other things, and yet, on top of that, I know for a FACT that some of those young people are already addicted to porn, or things WAY worse than anything that’s going to be depicted on the screen this Valentine’s day.

Bottom line?

Fifty is really nothing new…

If you really cared, you’d be fighting every other thing too. (But… let’s be honest, you LIKE all of that other stuff and justify it, so you don’t)

Don’t like it? Don’t go see it. (I’m not) But stop acting as if you’re holier than someone else because your films aren’t as “sexually explicit” when they contain just as much GARBAGE as the next person’s in different ways.

Start praying and warring against much bigger issues.

As a PS or TL;DR… I’m NOT saying that calling this film out on it’s depravity is wrong, or saying to stop doing it. I’m saying THINK about how this film came to be to begin with, and what YOU are addicted to, involved in, viewing on a regular basis, etc…and maybe fight it with as much fervency as you are THIS if you feel that strongly about it. 1

I’m a LOSER, Baby, so why don’t you give your award to BEYONCE ? ? ?

I’m beginning to think one of two things…

1. Kanye West has an issue with “white folk” winning awards in general.

or B. (yes, b), Kanye West has a big ol’ LESBIAN CRUSH on Beyonce. (Yes, Lesbian… because #meangirls)…

Or Option Pi. Which is “both” … or “neither”, but one of THOSE options for sure 😉

Either way, let’s NOT talk about Kanye West anymore, okeeday? Or even Kanye East, or even Kanye South, or even NORTH WEST..

Let’s just not…

Because that’s not what I want to make this post about.

INSTEAD let’s speak of a truly awful artist (yes, awful… as in, Awe inspiring).

BECK… You know, I used to like Beck back in the day. Ain’t nothing changed to be honest, I STILL like Beck quite a bit.

But, I have to say that NOW I REALLY have a newly found, HIGH respect for Beck, and it’s all thanks to Mr “Hey-sues walks with me…”

Unless you’ve been so hungover from your football experience last weekend to know (Might be likely)… Kanye pulled what news papers and media reports are calling a “Kanye” at the Grammy’s in which he attempted to “punk” Beck by going up onto the stage with him when he accepted his award, nearly pulling a “Taylor Swift” http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/music/music-news/6186134/MTV-VMA-Kanye-West-interrupts-awards.html … at that moment (The Beck one) I decided that I was one hundred thousand and ten percent done with this guy (and I didn’t even watch the grammy’s, however I did see the travesty that was “Happy” with Pharrel Williams and Hans Zimmer… total respect for both artists, love em, they cool, NO respect for what they performed).

Kanye followed Beck to the stage, and stepped in front of him briefly to wave and then walked back to his seat. HeHEHEHEHEEHHEHEHEHEHEHE… -_-

Beck actually encouraged Kanye to stay, waving at him and saying, “Come back… I need some help.”

Kayne later stated the following at an after party show –

“If the Grammys want real artists to keep coming back, they need to stop playing with us, Beck needs to respect artistry and he should have given his award to Beyoncé, and at this point, we’re tired of it.

“Because what happens is, when you keep on diminishing art and not respecting the craft and smacking people in the face after they deliver monumental feats of music, you’re disrespectful to inspiration.”

He added that he had decided not to say anything on stage because, “I got my wife, my daughter and my clothing line, so I’m not going to do nothing to put my daughter at risk,” but insisted that it was his job to “fight for creativity”.

COUGH… to a guy who’s been around FAR longer than you…

Again, what I want to highlight and talk about here is this-

I think we could all learn a LOT (I know I did) from Beck’s response to Mr. West.

I think often times in this life, we feel that we automatically need to defend ourselves. Come on now, you know it’s true. The moment that we feel hurt, offended, threatened, etc, we immediately take the morally “low” road and want to shoot back. Either with witty quips, or with flying fists, or maybe just by trashing the person later on…

Beck on the other hand was completely outside of all of that bubble…

He stated later on that he was “Just so excited to see him coming up”  O_o… Does Beck not know that he was about to embarrass and shame him and that he was about to make a major scene? OF COURSE HE DID! He said, “[West] deserves to be onstage as much as anybody. How many great records has he put out in the last five years, right?”

Okay, Beck… you’re losin’ me a little bit here…

But, then he hits us all with this, “I thought she (The big B) was going to win. Come on, she’s Beyonce! . . . You can’t please everybody, man. I still love [West] and think he’s genius. I aspire to do what he does…”

And there you have it folks… Grace, respect, care, love…

Mr. Hansen might be a scientologist himself, but If Jesus WALKS with ANYONE, I honestly think it’s Beck.

Kanye, if Jesus walked with you, He’d be face palming I think and encouraging you to have a little more humility and modesty.

Oh yer, one more little word-
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