I Hate to Say it, but I’m ELATED to be leaving my other facebook behind.

It’s been sort of an odd thing…

Figuring out who I’m going to “take with me” and perhaps who was just there for fun sometimes (a LOT of you)… and then discovering who the real BUTTS in this group from “xanga” were/ are…

I find it amazing how you can say to a group of people that you’re leaving and they all respond differently.

I remember being in fifth grade. This was the grade that I was in where teachers actually abused me, and I was attacked (physically) three different times by boys who were bigger and stronger than me. TWICE without provocation, and once towards the end when I’d had enough and actually started the fight/ fought back. Funnily enough, I got in trouble for that last one but no one did for the other two attacks… That was the end for me…

I remember that I went to school for the last few days to say goodbye, hoping that a few people actually cared about me and the responses that I was met with were shocking to my 10 year old sensibilities… Overwhelmingly, the kids/ people acted as if they were GLAD that I was leaving…

I was 10… I was bullied… I never “talked back”, I never bullied anyone. I tried the best that I could to be nice to everyone (I had friends in special Ed), I made my best friend by helping her when she was bleeding when no one else would… and everyone was “GLAD” that I was leaving? erm… okay…

The truth of the matter is that these reactions that I’m getting on Facebook? They’re THE REASONS that I’m leaving… there are some people who have been a constant and have always been my friend and always been there, but others have just been downright mean and I think it’s bizarre when they come out of the woodworks to slap you right before you do so…

Okay, if you REALLY felt that way, then why are you my FB friend to BEGIN with? I never had a habit of “adding people as friends” that I hated/didn’t like or was just going to use the ambiguity of the internet to be a DICK to… >_>

I think that sort of thing says a LOT about a person and what they’re “holding back”… in regards to how they really feel.

It’s like how back in October, everyone blew up at me for things that were ridiculous and boy did they UNLEASH all of their hatred against me from the get go… that was the beginning of the end for me.

I spoke with some people and they reminded me that while I HAVE been aggressive occasionally on facebook, I’ve done my best to never be cruel to people. If I’d slipped and done so, often I’ve apologized for it. I rarely ever cut someone “free” from my friendship (especially not over disagreements, etc) unless I felt that they were a danger to me, or my friends or they hurt one of them or myself without apology or care.

I was reminded that I did my best to always listen to everyone who wanted an ear, to be open minded and non-judgmental… that I had sat awake with a few people into the whee hours of the morning to keep them from pulling a trigger, that I’d sent Christmas and Easter cards to those who wanted them, that I’d given away jewelry to people, that I’d attempted to always stay true to the idea of friendship and love…

And there were those who forgot ALL of that and pissed on my head in the end literally for no reason other than (apparently) they have /had some beef with me that they never voiced or spoke of… and unfortunately, many of SAID people are the shock same people who have hordes of “followers” but very few FRIENDS because often they’re very cruel to people and can’t let minor grievances go… they think they’re “entitled” to be treated a certain way but have never really treated ANYONE that way… and if they SAY they do, they’re kidding themselves and have a higher opinion of themselves than they should… because on several occasions I’ve witnessed some of those “xanga stars” be cruel to other people just for having a differing opinion, or trying to stand up for themselves or… (at times) doing absolutely nothing at all except existing… how sad when those people are making their fame and fortune by plastering on “hippy dippy happy slappy” smiles and purring left and right at anyone who says they’re “perf” but in reality could really give two craps about them…

I ALWAYS tried to care for everyone regardless of how “PERF” everyone thought that I was and regardless of their status in life…

It’s a tragic world I think…

I’ve seen this bull crap since I was a small child… sadly, many of those people are unhappy and unfulfilled and have never had a long term meaningful relationship. They have a “bestie” for a few years, then another, then another, then another, then another, then they “marry” someone, then they divorce, then they “date” someone, then they move on, then they get married again, and are unhappy still… and the cycle goes on without them once understanding that the common denominator in all of their problems is “them”…

I have come to realize that for the majority of my facebook life, most people have been fine. ^_^ I can put up with a lot of crap… but some people have REALLY hurt me and for reasons that were just ridiculously petty.

It’s not worth it anymore. I’m with an amazing group of people that I’ve been with for a long time now IRL. I love them dearly, they love me dearly, and we’re constantly working things out as a family. My church is great and I just don’t need extra facebook BULL right now.

So, all in all? I’m really glad to be moving on.

rainbow

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5 thoughts on “I Hate to Say it, but I’m ELATED to be leaving my other facebook behind.

  1. I’m sorry you went through so much crap, but I’m glad you’re with a good group of friends. 🙂 And I’m also honored that you let me be in your other Facebook. Thanks for your friendship, the Christmas cards you’ve given me, and the comb you sent me (I won it in a contest of yours). 🙂

    Ashley

  2. Sadly, the people who treated you poorly are probably the same people who treat you poorly now as an adult. And I don’t mean that literally, just that, I’ve learned when people are cruel as children, not many of them grow out of it. Not many people grow out the sense of entitlement they have as children, or thinking that the world needs/wants their opinions. I’ve mentioned that before, too, people who hide beneath that whole “I’m just being HONEST” guise. Like, okay, cool, you’re honest… but there’s this thing called TACT. You can be honest and have your opinion without being well… an ass. I think that’s what a lot of the problem was with people on your FB. I have them, too. They hold themselves in a certain regard for their brash honesty.
    Love ya, Slain! ❤

  3. Well, I am sad that you felt the need to leave your more public facebook. I think there were more than a few of us out there who enjoyed your thoughts, statuses, etc…but I totally get it. I will just follow you through your blog and hope to see you around in the two groups Musterion created.

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