Dear Men, yes… you

Dear you,

Sit down, pour a glass of coffee, juice, or whatever your preferred drink is. We’ll be here a minute.

dear mendear men21

If no one ever told you, I think you need to know.

I love you. All of you. I don’t harbor illness or resentment towards you because of what a “few” of you might have done the same way that I try not to harbor illness or resentment towards women because of what a few of “them” might have done.

I want to openly state a few things –

dear men17dear men 22

I admire you. You are a  wonderful, important gender. In fact, your importance is paramount. 

Maybe you don’t realize it, but your God given role is help guide, and teach. You will one day be the head of your household, and the husband of your wife, and the father of your children. This is absolutely 100percent important because it’s an encouragement to you.

Be strong in the word, and in the Lord. Be strong in care, in discipline, and teaching. And be strong for your wife. She needs you. She needs you to be sturdy, supportive and in awe of her all of the time.

You are so, so, so important. You are the keystone, you are the foundation. So whatever is making you feel rocky right now, whatever you suffer emotionally, physically, or mentally, get a hold on it, and be the warrior of your life.

dear men18dear men21
You are a strong, strong breed. 

Unlike women, you learn from a very young age that your emotions and feelings are next to nothing. That you should “Stop crying” and “take it like a man” … I apologize for this. For every time a woman has laughed or looked at you for having feelings.

You’re human and you can have all of the feelings and emotions that you need to have. YOU CAN BREAK DOWN… I will still believe in you.

You go to work for hours on end often without complaint to feed, supply for, and provide for yourself and (if now, or when the time comes) a family as well. I want to thank you for your dedication to this system. Without it, the family unit crumbles (And no, I don’t mean to say that men can’t be ‘house husbands’ or that women CAN NOT work).

You are allowed to cry. You are allowed to “go for a run”, you are allowed to hit a punching bag until your knuckles are bleeding and you’re blue in the face if you need to express yourself.

You CAN do it.
I apologize for any time a woman OR a man whether your mother or father, sister or brother, or anyone else in your life made you feel like you were not able to, not manly enough, or just incapable.

You ARE capable, you ARE manly enough, and you ARE able.

Don’t let some big shot, parental figure, or feminist tell you who you are. You are you, and you can and should go for your dreams.

dear men1

You can and should PAINT, WRITE POETRY, SEW, COOK…

You do what YOU do. Don’t let anyone tell you that that’s not appropriate, or not “manly”. You can, and you are able.

Dear men2

You are NOT just a money maker, eating machine, video game player.
While on your surface that might be what we see ^_^, underneath you are a complex, wonderful person JUST like women (Although women are definitely a bit harder to understand.)

dear men4

You are NOT the scapegoat. 
I apologize over and over and over and a hundred times over for every time this stupid freaking society has made “everything” seem like men’s faults.

Yes, men are to blame for a lot. But women are to blame for a lot too. People in general are just to “blame” and I hate it that I live in a world where it’s “men’s faults” and we call men “dicks” but the word “cunt” is sexist, misogynistic, etc… I know that was graphic, I apologize, I’m making a point.

We blame men and put their genitals and manhood down all the time, but can’t even touch that area in women… double standards galore.

dear men16

Love. Yes, yes you do. Despite all of your mistakes, failures, illnesses, insecurities, and self loathing, YOU DESERVE LOVE. You deserve it, you deserve it, you deserve it. Christ thinks so, I am not one to argue with him.

Sex. Yes, yes you do. You deserve sex. You deserve a woman’s touch, caress and JOY (yes JOY) to please you. Sex is not something that is a “prize” at the end of the day for being “good” … you’re not a “dog” … you are a sexual being who deserves love, and sex.

You do NOT deserve to be in a relationship in which your wife doesn’t do a thing for you, doesn’t cook you a meal, clean your house, or talks about how a “real man would…” no, shut up Jezzabel. YOU ARE a real man! You deserve servitude because you ARE a servant unto her. You do not deserve a woman who uses sex as a bartering tool every time (there are always exceptions to this, if it’s a game, if she’s sick, etc). Sex is passion, desire and intimacy, and you deserve to give, and take. That’s what sex is. You do not deserve a woman who doesn’t work, doesn’t do anything, gripes at you about everything, and starts in about the patriarchy all the time. YOU DESERVE BETTER. YOU ARE BETTER.

Dear men 14

It doesn’t matter if you’re black, white, short, tall, fat, skinny, nerdy, geeky, autistic, balding, clean shaven, big bearded, blue eyed, black eyed, brown eyed, green eyed, IT DOES NOT MATTER.

You deserve love, sex, companionship, and friendship.

dear men6


Don’t let anyone tell you what a “real man” is… a real man is you. YOU ARE A MAN. (to be fair to this statement though, don’t be a deadbeat/ take it for granted lol)

You deserve to be praised. That’s right, praised. OH NO! That must mean that women do NOT deserve to be praised! No, I did not say that. What I said was that MEN deserve to be praised. Because you really do. You work, you play, you sacrifice your time, feelings, personal space, and life for others.

YOU DESERVE to play video games. 
Yes, you do. DO NOT be pushy with this one as it will take away from your family and friends, but you should absolutely get your kicks a few times a week, or for a few minutes a day slaying dragons, beating up the bad guy, BEING the bad guy, or stopping terrorist attacks. I know, it makes you feel good. You NEED to accomplish and slay as a man, and I don’t hold that against you at all. ^_^ (I’ll play too). Don’t abuse this, but you absolutely deserve it.

dear men7dear men10

You DESERVE peace.

dear men 15

To walk on the beach alone once in a while. To have a “man cave” where you watch movies in a dark room and drink a beer. To have a side room full of your artistic endeavors. To turn your garage into a tool space and drill holes into things.

You deserve to sit and take a breather and NOT be being asked to do something.

dear men 19

My heart has always been for men. I’ve always had a rather soft spot for them, this is what led me away from feminism. Recognizing that men are not only swept under the rug often, but they’re not taken seriously, not truly explored, or truly appreciated for just being MEN…

dear men20

I don’t hold it against you that you’re the stronger gender. I don’t hold it against you that you’re visual and think women are “hot.” I don’t hold it against you that you’re aggressive at times. I don’t hold it against you that you need to “prove” yourself. (although jus’ sayin’ in a perfect world, you wouldn’t need to) I don’t hold it against you that sometimes you need to ride on top of moving vehicles. I don’t hold it against you that sometimes your famous last words are “I can do that! Hold my beer!” … You’re just you… We’re different, you’re different, you’re interesting, unique’, and wonderful. YOU ARE WONDERFUL.

It was brought to my attention early on in life that we are doing SOMETHING wrong… Men are the highest on the suicide rate, (YOUNG men 😥 ) Men die earlier than women (I think proving that men take care of women and not themselves as well), men are often screwed in divorce cases (with women, their children, etc).

dear men13

Dear men, 
You are not stupid. TV,  literature, and entertainment often portrays men as the more “stupid” of the two genders. Just because you don’t understand everything that a woman does does NOT make you stupid. You’re just different, and often you rely on a woman for “house things.”

You’re actually smart. In fact, book wise, most of you are MUCH smarter than the average woman ever will be and I applaud you. Seriously. It means AMAZING things that you are able to be so intelligent and book smart. Women are often relationship smart, that’s why we need each other. ^_^

dear men 13

Dear men,
Whatever stage you are at in your life, there is ALWAYS more. You’re not too old, you’re not too young, you’re not too skinny, you’re not too fat, you’re not too autistic, your tourettes is not big enough to stop you from your next moment. Your next dream, your next failure (to learn from) your next step. You’re not too anything. Even if you’re on your deathbed, life is still in you, and you can say what you need to say and start anew. You can make it right, you can turn around, you can put the soda down and drink water, you can tell your wife/ girlfriend/ sister/ mom/ aunt/ grandma/ daughter that you love her and are sorry. You can ask Jesus to guide you more/further/farther/better. It is NOT too late. It never will be until your very last breath.

Dear men,
You’re mysterious, and I love that about you. I love learning what you have to say and listening to your opinion because it is VALID… and you always surprise me with everything that you’re capable of.

dear men12

I’m sorry, you deserve FAR FAR FAR more credit.

dear men8

Dear men, 
I love you all and I’m PROUD of you. 

dear men 16


4 thoughts on “Dear Men, yes… you

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