You need to shut up on Facebook

Yeah, total click bait.

But related, I assure you.

I just want to point out something that I am learning more and more in regards to FB and social media in general.

social media

Now, this doesn’t apply to like groups, or open forums where it’s expected however, imagine this scenario:

You’re at a party and at this party, you know like three people. Let’s say that you are having a conversation with your friend about something you believe in. Let’s make it religion. Whether you’re Catholic, Christian, Hindu, whatever… And you’re having a bit of a back and forth, but it’s cool because you’re friends.

THEN someone comes into the conversation that your friend knows… from high school… and is like, “Yeah, that Jesus guy was a jerk… I mean, He’s not even God or anything. He was just a zombie Christ…”

Just… really ruins everything, doesn’t it?

Now look, I’m not saying that if you post something, you’re not in a way ASKING for someone to come along and say something, but I am learning more and more in regards to myself how RUDE it is to comment in a thread or on someone else’s that I DO NOT KNOW’S comment.

We don’t do that in real life, so why do we feel it necessary to do it on social media? All it does is fuel a debate that, in the end, doesn’t really change the other person’s mind and takes away from our life in general …

Here’s an example of what I’m talking about-

*JJR posts an article on politics with his own commentary.*
BB: *makes a comment that debates the article*
JJR: *replies back*
BB: *Replies back with facts, etc…*
—— ANA jumps into the conversation with scathing reply about truth and facts and rambles for half an hour. ANA doesn’t KNOW BB, she/he just feels the need to set BB straight… What ensues is a three hour conversation in which no one changes their mind.—

OFTEN in the past, I have been ANA…

Now again, I’m not saying that we shouldn’t comment on a friend’s article and have a friend debate or whatever, but we don’t really need to start engaging all of JJR’s friends to “school them” through facebook. It just really doesn’t go anywhere and let’s face it, we don’t like it when it happens to US… We don’t like to be “ANA’d” – it takes away from our conversation with JJR and if you’re anything like me, every time you see that little notification at the top, you have a miniature anxiety attack. What has ANA said NOW? What will I have to PROVE? How can I REFUTE everything that they’re saying? What if I CAN’TTTT???

I’ve found a few tools that have really helped me.

1. ABSOLUTELY making a decision not to engage any further. If a person replies… don’t respond. In fact, don’t even read the comment. FIRST, let the person know that you will not be READING their comment back in your final reply. Then DON’T. Do not be tempted into it. The moment you read the comment, you’ll HAVE to reply. You know you will. It’s in our nature.

2. Find the “unfollow” button or “turn off notifications for this post” and then leave it alone.

3. If you have to say something, try and be kind, or at least give the benefit of the doubt/ be skeptical. I suggest this when dealing with anyone online that you don’t know. You don’t know why they believe what they believe and what they’re going through. They really don’t need your pride or arrogance on the computer screen.



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