I’m Tired of Deadpool, so naturally I blog about it

Let’s start this off with two facts.

Fact numero 1, I love Deadpool.

cool story bro

“The character” “The idea” “The player character in Marvel Ultimate Alliance” “The quick talker in Ultimate Spiderman” “Ryan Reynolds BEFORE the end of Wolverine” (Okay… people are dead…)  In fact, if any of you have ever seen me say, “tada” he’s where it started. He loves to say that in Marvel Ultimate Alliance, one of my absolute favorite games). Every time I say this, I hear it in his voice. (Hands up, John Kassir) (He’s also been voiced by one of my FAVORITE voice actors, “Nolan North”… HANDS UP NOLAN NORTH!!!)

The idea of him is pretty awesome, gotta admit. Someone who can’t be killed, heals awesome quick, martial arts, tele-ports (with a device-y thingy), longevity. Yup, Wade Wintson Wilson’s got it all…

Sept where it comes in the looks department-
the face of hell

But that’s neither here nor there at this point.

Fact letter B, (yes, we’re still on facts, keep up)
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII…lookedatpornlastnight.
Hey, we’re being honest, right?

It wasn’t like “people having sex” porn, or even real graphic. Just something that I shouldn’t have been looking at.

This is an issue that I’ve mostly kicked (or had mostly kicked) in my married years and during my walk with God and becoming more serious about Him and what He wants for my life. There’s a reason that it’s become a LOT more difficult in the last two – three years. No, I don’t have an “addiction” (this isn’t something that I do every day, every week, etc) but I do have moments where I fall to it now, and the reasons are long and drawn out and hard to explain. I WILL say that it has a LOT to do with my illness (I’ll link blog here-https://lkjslain.wordpress.com/2014/08/02/hello-my-name-is-lisa-and-im-a-chronic-pain-sufferer/) and while I’m not using that as an excuse for my behavior, it absolutely is related. Pain causes us to see things differently/ think differently, etc. ESPECIALLY (I think) when it’s sexual / preventative pain.

Sure, I should be “stronger,” but ultimately those are all things that God is working out in me and it’s day by day (sometimes minute by minute) you fall, pick yourself up, fall…etc.

This (soft core porn struggle) is a problem that I’ve had off and on since I was probably… fifteen and you know what it started with? (Take a crack at it)

MOVIES! 😀

I’m gonna be hhhhonest with you, I believe that one of the reasons for the rise in bi-sexuality and lesbianism in the church is due to R-rated films or films that exploit women.

There’s a slew of information to back this up especially accounts of WOMEN WITH this problem talking about and sharing how this problem began.

But there’s even more to it than that… MEN report much of the same thing. In this day and age, I have found more and more than men’s awakening to their sexuality was due to “film.” Whether it was a raunchy sex scene, nudity, or just a woman slowly revealing that she is in a bra and undies.

I state this second fact and where I stand on it BECAUSE I want everyone to know who’s reading this that A, I don’t hate you or think you’re a horrible, nasty sinny sin sinny sinny sin sinner for liking and/ or watching Deadpool “the movie”…

OBVIOUSLY I’ve got my own problems and thus, can’t look at you and say “YOU HORRIBIBLE TERRIBIBLE PERSON…BIBLE…”

However, what I CAN do is explain how I feel about entertainment, movies, the Christian walk, and how “I’VE” come to where I’m at now. (I know, you’re all DYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYING to know… *watches a person click off this site…* Deadpool-red-band-trailer-2Okay……… the REST of you are all DYYYYYYING TO KN *POINTS DRAMATICALLY*-SIT BACK DOWN!)

I am not at ALL holding up a sign that says that I am the “Shining Example of What to Watch in CHRISTIAN Entertainment” … Yes, yes, I DO watch The Walking Derps, and Yes, yes… I DID watch “Hannibal” … These are definitely NOT touted as Christian shows and certainly contain violence, gore, and the like. I would never suggest anyone to actually “watch” these shows unless they were into this/that. >_> The other.

But MOST of my movie and television watching has gradually become more and more cleaned up of things like sex, nudity, and gratuity as time has gone on.

I remember being eighteen or nineteen and thinking during a raunchy sex scene… “Why am I watching this? Why is this okay?” Then I of course laughed and said to myself, “SELF… Why is VIOLENCE okay?” Then I sort of churrrckled and said, “Well, it ain’t… but in some cases in stories, violence is warranted or “righteous” … is THIS… THIS on the screen ever warranted?”

And I struggled with that for a long time.

I will note here that it’s been my experience that MANY of the same men in the church crying over women needing to “dreasss moarrrr moudestly…” are the shock same men who are watching movies and TV FILLED with sex and nudity.

Double standard, much?

The bible warns us many times over not to A, look upon women lustfully (or men, it’s directed at both) and B, to be careful what we’re witness to. Those things will start to dictate what’s in our hearts and souls. Those things “come out” when no one is looking and soon when EVERYONE is looking.

I look at watching movies like, “The Avengers” and say, “The fighting / violence going on is often righteous because it’s a situation in which they are often fighting to protect/ help.”

It’s often similar (not the same, I know) in TWD. The people are (often) either fighting to protect others from the undead, OR to protect others from OTHER horrible people. There’s a sense of righteousness… and something else that God laid on my heart? It’s… acting…

Nudity and sex however… well… it’s not “acting” … You can’t “act” naked, if you’re naked, you’re naked and Hollywood uses this device to tempt and taunt and sell sex. They don’t OFTEN use it for reasons that they should (natives, tribes, prisoners, slaves, etc) Sex? It’s “just acting” …. yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah, hate to break it to you, but not really. (I’d like to preface this by saying that I have been in Hollywood a little and know plenty of people who are/ were and can confirm these things) – actors and actresses OFTEN sleep with one another (not always, some have morals) but when you’re filming a sex scene for six days where you’re both nude and pressed up against one another (sorry to be graphic) WHAT DO YOU THINK is going to happen?

I read an article one time (wish I could find it) that an ACTOR wrote about how during love scenes he had a VERY difficult uh… time (won’t get any more graphic than that, you can use your imagination).

Because it’s NOT acting when you put two naked people against one another for several days and ask them to “pretend to do sexual things”… that’s not how the human body/ brain or anything works, really 😛 (unless your co-star is 100% flaming gay)

Hollywood itself is STEEPED in sexual sin. I know someone who can TELL you that as a woman she was asked by almost EVERY SINGLE manager and some directors to either A, take her clothes off, or B, sleep with them (or do sexual favors). And often, these women in Hollywood are told that they won’t “get anywhere unless they do” … sad… exploitative. I would know.

Now, I’m not suggesting that there isn’t a chance that God doesn’t want me watching The Walking Dead…

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I’ve actually struggled with the idea of “stopping” watching TWD… and I can guarantee you that if they choose to cross a few set lines in my head, I won’t hesitate to terminate my “relationship” with the zombie show. I almost terminated it during Terminus. BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

What it IS to say is that often, I’ve found with movies and film the REASON that I’m okay watching certain things is finding the redemptive part in it.

As a person and as a CHRISTIAN, what I long for is restoration/ healing, forgiveness, affection/ brotherly love…
EX. one of the reasons that I love The Count of Monte’ Cristo (with James Caveziel) is because at the end, he realizes that revenge is NOT the answer, even though the bad guys deserved it and TO BE FAIR, he justly dealt with them all (in the movie)- eye for eye like.

He is restored at the end, no longer a “cloaked figure” trying to hurt people. Now a man with purpose, family, and love again.

If things are often just “glorifying raunchiness, adultery, sexual immorality, violence, etc…” I have a VERY hard time just “watching” that and feeling that Christ is okay with it.

Who knows, maybe I’m wrong… but I can tell you that God has spoken to me NUMEROUS times in movies and film ESPECIALLY where there was a sense or heroism, restoration, sacrifice, etc.

I wouldn’t say that it brings me “closer to God” – I’d say that it helped me at times understand myself and our Lord better.

I want to briefly address also, how I feel (as a society) we’ve tricked ourselves into thinking that Deadpool must push ALLLLLLL boundaries because that’s “just who he is” … let me tell ya, son. I sat down and pawed through a ton of Deadpool comics, I have watched multiple things with Deadpool in them, and I play as deadpool in one of my favorite video games… I BELIEVE that the writers/ producers could have VERY EASILY made this PG-13… and maybe quite a bit more funny/ creative/ suggestive. In fact, there’s a large part of me (being a writer) that wants to see the darn movie, get the script and re-write it to prove everyone that it could have in fact been done. In almost ALL instances where we’ve seen this character he’s been PG-13 / (sometimes even PG) and no one has complained. In fact, everyone LOVES DEADPOOL!
deadpool valentne

Things COULD have been pushed further, but the idea that things needed to be pushed as FAR as they were? ………………………… questionable.

I am writing this blooooog not to say “HEY YOU! YES YOU SINNER SINNY SIN SINNN SINNER… DON’T GO SEE DEADPOOL!”

I’m actually writing it plant some ideas and ask a few questions about our entertainment.

We as people and as Christians should always find ways to see God in entertainment and if we can’t, then that entertainment might not be worth it to us. Remember, PAUL stated that he can do ALL things, but not ALL things are beneficial to him… in fact, some things are the OPPOSITE of beneficial. They hurt us in the long run. And I just wonder at times how many of us (myself included) watch something and then years down the road don’t realize that HEY… I wonder where this train of thought, or THIS allowance, or THIS such and such started… …………………………………….. if I was honest with myself…? Maybe it started with Deadpool… 😦
(Or GOT, or SOA, or Hannibal, or TWD, or OITNB, or………………………)

– Did you make it through this boring piece without shoving a fork in your eye? Good for you! You get a chimichanga.

Now go see Deadpool and don’t come complaining to me that I’m uptight and holier than thou. 😛

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God takes forgiveness pretty seriously. You should too

Matthew 6:15 – http://biblehub.com/matthew/6-15.htm

I’m going to be blunt…

I hate it when people (ESPECIALLY Christians) won’t admit to the fact that the problem is “them”…

When a person has deliberately decided that someone else is the problem and hence they hold no forgiveness for that person in their their hearts and act as if they can never be made whole again, it really frazzles me.

Time and time again I watch in the church (funnily enough, mostly with WOMEN but a few times with men) who get their feathers bent out of shape because of this or that or the other and decide that now they have a problem with someone else.

However, when the problem is addressed, commented on, apologized for, or stated to be misunderstood, the same old things always seem to follow … in fact, it’s hilarious how predictable those things are-

Un-forgiveness, mistrust, contempt, jealousy, rumor spreading, gossip, the list just goes on and on.

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I have lost several friends in the last 6-10 years, ALL of them women, ALL of them to issues that could have easily been resolved if said woman would have just accepted my SINCERE apology and realized that THEY were the problem.

Now, let me be clear-

When I say that THEY are the problem, what I am talking about was/is after the fact. Meaning that regardless of whether I initially caused an issue (most of the time it was over a misunderstanding, which makes it even more silly) they have refused to accept my apology, have a relationship with me, communicate, etc… This makes them the problem whether they like it or not.

Jesus repeatedly spoke in the bible about forgiveness and ESPECIALLY amongst his elect and His church. The “emotional feelys” that women don’t seem to be able to work out with their brothers and sisters seems to be one of the many reasons that women are not supposed to preach in churches as it seems that women have a much bigger issue with this than men.

The bible says that you are NOT supposed to have an issue with your brother or sister in Christ. This doesn’t mean that you might not always be working things out. This doesn’t mean that the other person won’t do things that rub you the wrong way, or that they might not do something that makes you mad. It means, don’t hold it against them. Let things go. ESPECIALLY IF THEY CAME TO YOU AND APOLOGIZED!

If you can’t do this, then what in the world are you calling yourself a Christian for? We are supposed to forgive our brother (sister) seventy times seven.

Even if your brother/sister was COMPLETELY in the wrong (and in my experience, that’s actually NOT the case. Usually there is either a great misunderstanding, the person who is upset is making it a FAR bigger issue in their mind than it actually is ((by ascribing motives and issues to the person that they are not forgiving)) that are not correct thus blowing it MASSIVELY out of proportion, or the other person might have actually done something very wrong and now they are very sorry about it).

The worst part is that usually the person who is holding someone in un-forgiveness will justify themselves in that. Immediately taking to social media and saying things like, “When God closes a door…” bla bla bla… No sweetheart… God didn’t close that door. You did. In fact, you SLAMMED it… in the face of your brother/sister and here I refer you to Matthew 6:15. Then you see posts like, “God knows what happened, I will stand firm”… and everyone on Twitter and Instagram likes it/ making the person feel justified (without knowing the full story). No sweetheart, again, God ain’t mad at your brother, He’s mad at you. 

Matthew 5:23-24 says, “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.”

Sounds to me like God takes forgiveness pretty seriously… “Leave your gift at the altar and go and reconcile” – “Your father WILL NOT FORGIVE YOUR SINS…” Hmmmm.

I would like to finish this post by saying that ultimately, here’s the real issue-

You are not causing someone else problems, you are causing problems for YOU… For yourself. God is not going to grant you favor through un-forgiveness. It says so in His book.

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–I’m not trying to “Throw shade” or be “salty” I’m actually ONLY referring to people who have had personal problems with me in the PAST… so if you feel convicted or angry, then maybe you should be asking yourself why.

Think about it…

This is a marriage (our marriage to Christ) and it only works if we are committed to making it work. ALL OF US

Run from your sin! And it will certainly, absolutely never ever ever follow you at all.

I had come to the end of my rope…

“I just can’t do this anymore,” I said sheepishly looking at my husband.

I had just reiterated (for the fiftieth time) my current struggles in life coupled with my feelings of inadequacy, and the proverbial “banging your head against your wall” that happens to us all when a Christian begins to experience sin and temptation in all it’s resplendent false glory.

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My husband listened, nodded, sighed heavily a few times and lifted his head to look at me. “I don’t know what to do,” I said.

He shrugged. “Nothing.” He replied as if reading off of an item on my grocery list.

Wait a second… I just told you that I was struggling with temptation, and that I felt that I was drowning and your response to me was that I should do nothing?

“Nothing,” he replied again. “You need to keep putting yourself in it’s face.”

If your head didn’t just explode, stay with me.

How often in our Christian walk have we heard, “Run away from your sin…” ?

A few years ago now, I was struggling with an issue, and I sat down to talk with another woman about it. She shook her head and said, “You need to run… you need to run away from that right now.”

Now, please don’t get me wrong, I believe that there absolutely is a time and a place for running. If you feel yourself giving in to REAL temptation, then run. Run right then.

But, for some of us… those temptations are not as easy as “put down the bottle and walk away” because they’re less …physical.

The truth of the matter is that running sounds like the logical choice…

But wait a minute. If we run from temptation, what happens the next time we encounter it? Oh sure, we might not run into meth in our every day life, so resisting it once might sound really easy because heck, who knows when the next time we’ll encounter it again will be. Maybe never. Run once, and you won’t even have to look at meth for twenty years maybe. That’s simple!

But, alcohol… that might be a bit harder to always run from…
Porn… Even harder…
What about just old fashioned unforgiveness? … hitting a nerve there…
What about gossip? Having something against your brother? YIKES!!!

I’m not sure that you can always “run” from those kinds o things… and quite frankly, I think that this is one of the reasons that we start to lose people in the church. They can’t “handle” their own sin and have been told to “run from it”…

Funny…

You know, I don’t think that the verse is “Run from your sin, and it will certainly, absolutely, never ever ever follow you at all…”

I’m pretty sure that ACTUALLY the verse is “RESIST the devil and he will flee…”

What what?!?!? SAY IT AGAIN! “RESIST SIN?! RESIST??? Not RUN FROM!!??”

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Funny, I never really thought about this verse until my husband told me to continue to put myself in front of my “issue.”

I stewed over it for days until God reminded me of that very verse, and continued to point it out to me.

I wasn’t supposed to “run” from this sin because firstly that’s not what the bible says to do, but secondly, my sin is an issue of my heart not outright action, and BECAUSE of this running from it will only mean that it’ll chase me. That’s the nature of sin. Sin is in the heart and if you run from it, it’s still there. It’ll make another object, person, image, or drug the focus in no time flat.

This might sound nutty but it hit me like a ton of bricks.

A few nights later, I glared at my husband, “Everyone’s theology is flawed…you’re the one who’s right…” I smiled. He nodded at me, “I know,” he replied with a small smile. Then we talked about that verse.

You know what’s interesting? Since that revelation, I’ve felt stronger in this.

The idea that I can RESIST and not “run” actually gives me hope, and strength. I can stand up against my own selfish and foolish desires… and maybe I can have Victory.