Matthew 6:15 – http://biblehub.com/matthew/6-15.htm
I’m going to be blunt…
I hate it when people (ESPECIALLY Christians) won’t admit to the fact that the problem is “them”…
When a person has deliberately decided that someone else is the problem and hence they hold no forgiveness for that person in their their hearts and act as if they can never be made whole again, it really frazzles me.
Time and time again I watch in the church (funnily enough, mostly with WOMEN but a few times with men) who get their feathers bent out of shape because of this or that or the other and decide that now they have a problem with someone else.
However, when the problem is addressed, commented on, apologized for, or stated to be misunderstood, the same old things always seem to follow … in fact, it’s hilarious how predictable those things are-
Un-forgiveness, mistrust, contempt, jealousy, rumor spreading, gossip, the list just goes on and on.
I have lost several friends in the last 6-10 years, ALL of them women, ALL of them to issues that could have easily been resolved if said woman would have just accepted my SINCERE apology and realized that THEY were the problem.
Now, let me be clear-
When I say that THEY are the problem, what I am talking about was/is after the fact. Meaning that regardless of whether I initially caused an issue (most of the time it was over a misunderstanding, which makes it even more silly) they have refused to accept my apology, have a relationship with me, communicate, etc… This makes them the problem whether they like it or not.
Jesus repeatedly spoke in the bible about forgiveness and ESPECIALLY amongst his elect and His church. The “emotional feelys” that women don’t seem to be able to work out with their brothers and sisters seems to be one of the many reasons that women are not supposed to preach in churches as it seems that women have a much bigger issue with this than men.
The bible says that you are NOT supposed to have an issue with your brother or sister in Christ. This doesn’t mean that you might not always be working things out. This doesn’t mean that the other person won’t do things that rub you the wrong way, or that they might not do something that makes you mad. It means, don’t hold it against them. Let things go. ESPECIALLY IF THEY CAME TO YOU AND APOLOGIZED!
If you can’t do this, then what in the world are you calling yourself a Christian for? We are supposed to forgive our brother (sister) seventy times seven.
Even if your brother/sister was COMPLETELY in the wrong (and in my experience, that’s actually NOT the case. Usually there is either a great misunderstanding, the person who is upset is making it a FAR bigger issue in their mind than it actually is ((by ascribing motives and issues to the person that they are not forgiving)) that are not correct thus blowing it MASSIVELY out of proportion, or the other person might have actually done something very wrong and now they are very sorry about it).
The worst part is that usually the person who is holding someone in un-forgiveness will justify themselves in that. Immediately taking to social media and saying things like, “When God closes a door…” bla bla bla… No sweetheart… God didn’t close that door. You did. In fact, you SLAMMED it… in the face of your brother/sister and here I refer you to Matthew 6:15. Then you see posts like, “God knows what happened, I will stand firm”… and everyone on Twitter and Instagram likes it/ making the person feel justified (without knowing the full story). No sweetheart, again, God ain’t mad at your brother, He’s mad at you.
Matthew 5:23-24 says, “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.”
Sounds to me like God takes forgiveness pretty seriously… “Leave your gift at the altar and go and reconcile” – “Your father WILL NOT FORGIVE YOUR SINS…” Hmmmm.
I would like to finish this post by saying that ultimately, here’s the real issue-
You are not causing someone else problems, you are causing problems for YOU… For yourself. God is not going to grant you favor through un-forgiveness. It says so in His book.
–I’m not trying to “Throw shade” or be “salty” I’m actually ONLY referring to people who have had personal problems with me in the PAST… so if you feel convicted or angry, then maybe you should be asking yourself why.
Think about it…
This is a marriage (our marriage to Christ) and it only works if we are committed to making it work. ALL OF US